If my momma doesn’t like a man and gets another man to hurt him, will my momma go to jail?
My answer:  Yes, it’s called a conspiracy.
What I wanted to say:  Your mother has a crack problem.  Please adjust your life decisions accordingly.

Why do men get raped in jail?
My answer:  Some people are bad.  Next question?
What I wanted to say:  Have you been to prison?  There’s not a whole lot else to do if you don’t like to read.

Why did the President make a law that boys can’t hit girls?
My answer:  That’s actually more of a rule than a law.  And remember, Congress makes law, not the President.
What I wanted to say:  Because he wants boys to shoot girls instead.

Why do people go to jail?
My answer:  To punish, rehabilitate, and protect society from those who commit felonies.
What I wanted to say:  Because they can’t sing or dance.

Why do people steal?
My answer:  Some people want nice things but don’t want to work to buy them, so they take without asking.
What I wanted to say:  So the government has competition.

Can I go to jail for lying?
My answer:  If you’re testifying under oath in court and lie, you may.
What I wanted to say:  Yes, but you might go to jail for NOT lying, too, so it could be worth it.

If someone break into my house, do he go to jail?
My answer:  If he’s convicted, he likely will.
What I wanted to say:  Not in this neighborhood.

How can someone break into a house anyway?
-another kid:  my daddy just climb up the side o’ the house.
My answer:  I don’t think that’s an appropriate question.
What I wanted to say:  Sounds like your buddy can help you.

How come you got 2 jobs?
–another kid:  ‘Cause he like money.
My answer:  I like having two very different, and very rewarding, professions.
What I wanted to say:  Yeah, your friend is right.